Long Distance Relationships - I really don't get how these work. Being in a relationship where I see my girl everyday is hard enough as it is. I'm not hating on anyone in a long distance relationship but honestly it seems so fake and lacking of substance. My girlfriend was in Korea for a month and I thought I was going to kill myself.
I love my girl to death but honestly after writing her about four sappy over-elongated letters I realized how dumb it was. Honestly, Stephanie Myers I don't know how you wrote four books about such a sappy vampire relationship. I applaud you though, now you're rolling in the dough. Anyhoo, to me, being in a long distance relationship is the same as being in a relationship in jail. Still not hating on relationships in jail but any relationship sans physical contact is not the relationship for me.
Also if you've been to jail and you're bragging about it, I've got two things for you.
1)You're not cool.
2)You're retarded.
Time for some theories of mine.
COPS: Cops seem to punk bitch ass high school kids to teach them a lesson, always give them shit no matter what. Why you ask? Because their punishment won't be as harsh as those of an adult. So learn your lesson and don't do stupid shit out in public. Smoke your weed at home, heat up your crack rock in the comforts of your basement, speed race at home on that Need 4 Speed, and act your damn age.
BOOTY: I don't know any guy out there that doesn't turn and stare when a big ol' ass walks by. This is to warn all you guys about the dangers of booty. It seems to have some sort of hypnotic effect on guys. So girls, if you're tripping about this phenomena step your game up or sit your ass down and join your man and stare in awe of the glorious ass that just walked by.
2)You're retarded.
Time for some theories of mine.
COPS: Cops seem to punk bitch ass high school kids to teach them a lesson, always give them shit no matter what. Why you ask? Because their punishment won't be as harsh as those of an adult. So learn your lesson and don't do stupid shit out in public. Smoke your weed at home, heat up your crack rock in the comforts of your basement, speed race at home on that Need 4 Speed, and act your damn age.
BOOTY: I don't know any guy out there that doesn't turn and stare when a big ol' ass walks by. This is to warn all you guys about the dangers of booty. It seems to have some sort of hypnotic effect on guys. So girls, if you're tripping about this phenomena step your game up or sit your ass down and join your man and stare in awe of the glorious ass that just walked by.
OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Fuck that. Take this as a word of warning. I've always loved a challenge. Well, not always, I'll be the first to admit that I've gone out with a whole bushelful of skeezes. Anyhoo, learn from me that opposites most definitely do not attract. After weeks or maybe even months of trying to seduce your ideal "opposite" girl, you'll hopefully be successful in getting with her. Sure, you'll be ecstatic that you've bagged your ideal girl, because surely opposites attract and you'll be riding that high for maybe a week TOPS. After that you'll realize that your girl is way too different and you'll be wanting to hang yourself like Chris Benoit. RIP. But if you do find yourself in a healthy relationship with someone who is the complete opposite of you, then kudos to you. But, God knows that mine never worked out.
Anecdote time: I went to go get my hair cut the other day and I told the asian lady "Make it look cool." Not that hard of a demand right? She has a license to cut hair, so it shouldn't be that hard to make me look cool, since I'm already handsome as shit. Another thing, every "hair technician" in there had that fob mullet, so I was already skeptical, but I was already there, so I was like what's the worst that can happen.
Anecdote time: I went to go get my hair cut the other day and I told the asian lady "Make it look cool." Not that hard of a demand right? She has a license to cut hair, so it shouldn't be that hard to make me look cool, since I'm already handsome as shit. Another thing, every "hair technician" in there had that fob mullet, so I was already skeptical, but I was already there, so I was like what's the worst that can happen.
Everyone seriously looked like her, but 20 years older.
I went in there looking slum as shit, but it's the summer, I don't need to look fresh. So back to the story. She cut like half a centimeter of my hair off. So in my head, I'm like "the fuck?" So I just tell her I want to get it buzzed. She looks at me like I just told her to suck my dick. So I just said cut it short all the way around. So then she proceeds to cut my hair again, but she gives me a buzz cut that's like two inches long. So I told her to cut it again shorter. So then she proceeds to cut it again. Finally, I have my hair cut.
Moral of the story: Don't go to a Korean barber shop UNLESS you speak fluent Korean.
Don't trust ANYONE with a she-mullet.
If you don't like the way your hair is getting cut, don't say anything until the very end. At the end of the day, I got three full haircuts. Get at me.
Moral of the story: Don't go to a Korean barber shop UNLESS you speak fluent Korean.
Don't trust ANYONE with a she-mullet.
If you don't like the way your hair is getting cut, don't say anything until the very end. At the end of the day, I got three full haircuts. Get at me.
Sorry I could only find two places to put baby pitures to fit within my post.
On a side note, orange juice with pulp is the worst.
first of all, i'm the one that told the lady to cut it shorter, but then again i'm the one that took you with me. ha
ReplyDeletesecond, i hate the pulp.
i re-permed my hair this weekend by a korean lady, i wanted to cry
ReplyDeleteshe fried my hair :(